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It’s been a long time since I last posted to this blog. 

Although I often thought about posting, I have not come around to it. And that got me thinking about what stops me from posting. 

These are a few topics that came up:

1. Stage freight
   I’m very aware of the fact that I’m publishing my thoughts. 20 years ago I was less hesitant to post. Times have changed, and in the era of social media it became clear that sharing things online is not without consequences. 
   I often wonder: who’s waiting for this photo, this remark, this post. Isn’t my writing pretentious, am I being well-informed. How is my language, how do I express myself. 
2. Time
   A lot has happened in the last months. A lot that could serve as inspiration for writing actually. I’ve read a lot of good things, had good conversations. And while I’d love to share more of what keeps me busy, at most times I don’t feel the energy to keep myself focused on writing. I would write a quick draft, think ambitious thoughts and then never return to it. Or while writing, start to feel kind of bored and want to stand up and walk away from it. It’s some kind of performance anxiety or fear of the unknown. Will I finally be able to break through and publish something?
3. Intention
   And while we’re on the topic of time: while my inner dialogue is writing page-long pieces during the day, in the evening I’m way too often doomscrolling Reddit or Mastodon. Not a single synaps is launching the suggestion to start to write. 
   After forcing myself to observe this behaviour,  I realise I’m often led by impulse instead of intention.  
   It’s motivating that just having the intention to write can already lead to these insights. 
4. I am a project starter
   Not a project finisher. Apparently. 
   It’s with a reluctance that I admit it. But I have to be honest with myself. And knowing this, I might actually be able to focus on finishing things instead of jumping on the new interesting adventure.  

This post has gotten quite personal. And that’s exactly why I wanted to write in 2025. To bring clarity in cloudy thoughts. Observe things and give direction.

If I succeed once this year, I’ll consider it a success 😉.